Ep #35 Reframe Your Reality: The Impact of the Law of Relativity on Your Mindset

by | Jun 27, 2024 | Coaching, SBMC, SCA Podcast

The Somatic Coaching Academy Podcast
Video

Ani
Hi, and welcome to the Somatic Coaching Academy podcast. Hey there, Brian.

Brian
Hey, Ani. How are you? I’m good.

Ani
How are you today? Doing great. Good. Before we hop in, I just want to let people know if they haven’t heard already that you can now ask us questions to answer on the podcast. So if you are on the Somatic Coaching Academy website, which is very easy to find at www.somaticcoachingacademy.com, navigate to the podcast, and right on that podcast homepage underneath the podcast art. It’s a lot of podcast, podcast. There’s a link that you can click and submit a question that you have that you would like us to answer. And we’re really looking forward to hearing what questions you have and what topics you’d like to see addressed on the podcast. One of people’s favorite things is to We can help you to understand these universal, etheric kinds of mystical thinking things and make them very practical. So that’s something that people wonder about. You might just have really practical, what about this, kinds of things you want to ask, whatever it is. Go ahead and submit that, and you might find your question featured on an upcoming episode of the Somatic Coaching Academy podcast.

Brian
Yeah, we can’t wait. We can’t wait to want to know what you want to know.

Ani
Want to know what you’re thinking about. Yeah. Speaking of thinking, that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today on episode 35, because there’s There’s some stuff that’s really controlling how you’re thinking that you may not know about that’s really, really important. We’re going to be talking about today. It’s the natural law that is controlling your thinking the most. Now, we do love to talk about natural laws here at the Somatic Coaching Academy. Actually, this is fun to talk about, Brian, because as people are comparing. As people are comparing the programs that they want to take, whether it’s somatic coach training programs or other personal development programs, as people are comparing, one of the things people tell me all the time is that they didn’t know that we did stuff on the natural laws of the universe. And also there are other people who say, What the heck is that? So I think that actually is a good thing to talk about right now for a moment, because when you’re comparing… Excuse me, I must have something in my throat. Just kidding. As you’re thinking about programs, it’s important to know the foundational aspects of the programs that you’re taking, no matter what it is.

Ani
And natural laws are actually not just a part of the program. They’re actually the bedrock of our teaching here.

Brian
Yeah, they’re the bedrock of everything, actually. It’s true. The natural laws. We’ve done past podcasts on the natural laws, so you can go back and listen to some of the ones we’ve done before. I don’t want to repeat a lot of what we’ve talked about before, but maybe we can just really quickly set up what a natural law is in case this is the first podcast you’re listening to about natural laws. A natural law always has three elements associated with it. Natural laws are omnipresent, they are persistent, and they are non-judgmental. They are processes that occur in nature as a course of what nature does. Again, they exist everywhere. They keep working all the time. They never take a day off. They’re working 24/7 constantly, and they don’t care what you think about them. Gravity might be an example of a natural law. On the Earth. It’s everywhere. There’s nowhere it’s not. It just keeps working, and it doesn’t care if you like it or don’t like it. It doesn’t care if you believe in it or don’t believe in it. It doesn’t care if you know about it or don’t know about it. Gravity is just going to keep doing what gravity does, and you get to choose how you use gravity in order to get certain results in your life.

Ani
So the natural laws are something fun to study because so many of us want to create something in our lives. We want to be creators of our lives. And the natural laws give us a a blueprint for creation. They give us a process for creation. And that’s something that a lot of people out there are going, Yes, please. I would like one of those. So whether you’re thinking about what you want to achieve or a success that you want to have, or you’re thinking about something that you have in your life that you don’t like, that you’d like to change, maybe there’s a change, or maybe change has been imposed upon you, and you’re looking at how you can now create the life you want. The universal laws, the natural laws are a wonderful way to look at that blueprint for creation so that you have something to lean in on, like a how to manual. Now, I was hesitating here because I don’t really know that anybody else talks about them somatically than us, but we do. So a lot of people talk about the universal laws, and you may have read about them before.

Ani
There’s a bunch of books about them. And by the way, religious texts and spiritual texts from all kinds of angles use the natural laws in spiritual teaching. So I’m sure you’ve had some exposure to them. The way that we like to talk about them is helping people to understand them. Yes, but really more importantly, to embody the natural laws, to become a force of nature, to become a creator. And I like to say that actually at the end of our certification program, even if our students weren’t able to regurgitate the natural laws like they can, but if they weren’t able to, they’d be able to embody them such that they can use them and affect them. And that’s what I love so much, because you can learn about them intellectually for years and years and years and still not know what to do with them, to still not embody them, but to watch our students and graduates be able to do things that it just comes naturally once you embody the laws. That’s super fun.

Brian
Yeah. Because a part of who you are in the world, just how you operate in the world.

Ani
Yeah. And so today we’re going to talk about thinking, right? Like the natural law that’s controlling your thinking the most. But even in terms of thinking, Brian, I think we need to pull back how we’re talking about thinking and have it be not just the thoughts that are floating around up here, because that’s a part of thinking. But there’s so much more to intelligence than just the thoughts that are floating around our head. It’s like a lot more.

Brian
Yeah, a lot more. And of course, what informs those thoughts. Of course, we know here at the Somatic Coaching Academy, what informs those thoughts are what you feel in your body, your sensory states inform those thoughts, and they become a part of that. Also, memories inform those thoughts, previous actions we’ve taken inform those thoughts and how we think about that. Thinking for me, the way I think about thinking, is that it’s really about how we’re processing, organizing, categorizing, planning. It’s thinking feels like a really intellectual endeavor, right?

Ani
Thinking feels like?

Brian
Yeah. Thinking feels like. It’s funny. It is funny. Thinking thinks like a really intellectual endeavor. Of course, we can ever be divorced from how we feel either. And a lot of us want to be just heads walking around without bodies.

Ani
Exactly. Yeah, we do. The thinking cannot be divorced from the rest of the experience. Okay, can we just cut to the bottom line here for a second? We all think we’re walking around making all of these intellectual cortical decisions all the time from our big fat brains. The research shows us that we’re emotional beings, and we’re making decisions from our physicality, our emotionality, our sensations all the time. That’s what we’re doing.

Brian
From our subconscious, in other words. Exactly. Yeah. And of course, we are 95% subconscious and 5% conscious in how we operate in the world. So come on. So a lot of us think, as I think you’re pointing out, Ani, that we think that when we’re rational, that we’re being purely rational, but we’re never being purely rational. What we’re really doing is rationalizing how we feel. So we got to talk about where does that come from and what law are we talking about anyway, too, today? Oh, yeah. So the big reveal, here it is. The law- The big reveal? The law that- Is it really that big? Well, okay. So it’s maybe a medium reveal.

Ani
Really? Just a medium reveal?

Brian
Okay, so it’s a reveal. Maybe it’s very big reveal. It could be a very big reveal. It could just be a little bit for you. I don’t know. It all depends on what you’re comparing it to.

Ani
It all depends. It’s very relative, isn’t it, Brian?

Brian
Yeah, it’s very relative. It’s the law of relativity, if you haven’t already guessed, or aka the law of comparison. The law of relativity states that everything we can categorize, think about, everything we can think about, which includes categorizing, planning for, organizing, all those things, everything we can think about, we have to think about it in a way that relates to something else. We can’t think about something in a vacuum. We have to compare it to something. How big is my head. Well, what are you comparing it to?

Ani
My hair. On his hair or a bigger head or a helmet?

Brian
I don’t know. How big is something? Well, what are you comparing it to? How small is something? What are you comparing it to? How tall, how short, how wide, how heavy, how light, how smart, how not smart, how fast, how slow, whatever. Absolutely everything, everything, everything, everything is filtered through the law of relativity when we’re thinking about something.

Ani
We hear out there, and we’ve said this before, don’t compare yourself, and that you can’t not do that. We’re going to compare. So rather than trying to make yourself stop comparing, that’s crazy. That’s making yourself, Stop being- Stop breathing or something.

Brian
Stop being in gravity. It just doesn’t work. Stop being a human.

Ani
Levitate. Darn it. Anyway, so that’s not going to happen. Okay, so we are going to compare. The question is, how can we use the law of relativity to help us? Back to your point. Comparison is a good thing, and it’s a really efficient method, and our bodies are very efficient. And so the question isn’t, are you comparing? You’re comparing all the time about everything. I woke up this morning and I wondered to myself, what do I want to have for breakfast? And it wasn’t just what what do I want to eat? It was like, well, what do I want to cook? Because I’m comparing how much time oatmeal is going to take to the eggs are going to take. And then I was like, well, I’m already cooking for my son’s lunch, so maybe I will cook an egg now because it’ll take me less time. So I’m comparing.

Brian
I didn’t get enough protein yesterday. I want to get more protein today.

Ani
Exactly. I’m comparing. Yeah, there’s so much. I mean, we’re comparing constantly, and it’s great. It’s great. What you were saying about contrast is a good word to use. Contrast is really important so that we can decipher information. There’s a lot of information that we have to sort through in any given moment. And besides the fact, a lot of people are just stinking tired of making decisions. We make decisions constantly, right? So it’s great to have contrast because contrast helps us to make decisions.

Brian
And even when we don’t think we’re making decisions, we’re still making decisions. All the time. The question is, are we making those decisions consciously or subconsciously?

Ani
And a lot of our decisions are made subconsciously. And it’s not a bad thing, especially if you like the programming that’s going on in your subconscious mind. I mean, that’s the point.

Brian
And it takes a lot less energy to make decisions subconsciously, by the way, too.

Ani
Exactly. We’re all about being unconscious. Just to let you know, unconscious decision making, awesome.

Brian
Yeah, awesome. As long as you like the results of your unconscious decision making. As long as you like it. Yeah.

Ani
If you don’t like the results, then you need to change the program. But hey, let’s change the program to be something that you can just keep on repeat. That sounds good. Yeah.

Brian
So when I realized that every decision I made, every decision, whether it was a reflexive decision or it was a planned out decision, every action, every decision was always, always, always, always informed by a comparison. Always, all the time. When you realize that, it’s both frightening but also really liberating because then you realize, Wow, wait, I have a choice then. Those choices sometimes take more energy, and we just get tired of them, and so we just default back to the subconscious program again, which is a problem, again, if we don’t like our subconscious results, which end up being a real result in our life. If we like those results, then fine, just Delegate to your subconscious to make those comparisons, but they’re always, always, always making comparisons. This is something that we want to make sure to understand and consider is that we’re making those comparisons so that there’s a perception in the comparison. Ultimately, the choice that we make will always have a perception of more gain than loss associated with it. We feel like we’re gaining more than we’re losing. Why did you choose eggs this morning rather than oatmeal?

Ani
Because I thought that I was gaining time. Because if I cooked the oatmeal, it would have taken me longer, so I would have lost time. So I chose the eggs.

Brian
I chose oatmeal this morning rather than eggs.

Ani
And one of my sausages that I put out for myself.

Brian
That’s another story. There was no label on it that it wasn’t to be eaten. It’s true, but it was pretty obvious. So I just grabbed it. The reason I chose to do that is because then I was saving time from scrounging around for more food.

Ani
So you just took mine.

Brian
I just took what was there. I didn’t know. Now, if I knew it was yours and I knew the price I would pay for eating it, then I would have compared to the last time I stole your food, and so then I wouldn’t have eaten it.

Ani
Because you’re obviously paying the price for it.

Brian
I bought it three times. Again, exactly this morning.

Ani
And now in front of hundreds of people. Exactly.

Brian
So we’re making the point, right? I gained by choosing the sausage rather than not choosing the sausage. I didn’t know, and now I would have made a It’s your choice, honestly, if I would have been better informed on that regard. I would make the same choice because here we are. Anyway, we’re always making a choice based on more gain than loss. Now, because of the law of polarity, we know there’s actually no real… It’s always a conservation of gain and loss. But our perceptions are very powerful in how they drive this. I’m challenging every one of you, the rest of the week, to pay attention to as many as many as many, as many, as many decisions and choices that you’re making, and then track the root of it back to the comparison that you made in order to make that choice.

Ani
I have a great example. Hit me. I had a client I was working with once who she had left her day job. She was creating her own consultancy business, and she was just stuck. It was a funny stuck, but very typical, where she was confused, a lot. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what the right message is. I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. Very confusion-based. I’m trying to remember the exact comparison she was making at the time. I think it was how much energy I’m putting out based on my past and how much energy I used to put out of my job. Actually, it doesn’t even matter exactly what the comparison was at the time. But I said to her, How are you comparing right now. And when she stopped to think about it, what she realized that she was doing is you were saying gain and loss. What she was gaining actually by keeping herself in this rut was safety that she didn’t need to have. It was fine. She actually felt safe. But when she thought about it for a second, she thought the perception was that I’m gaining safety by keeping myself stuck.

Ani
And it actually, it was such a fun moment because there are these times with using the natural laws that literally you need three minutes with somebody to change the trajectory of their entire lives. And so this one was in a year long program, but this was one conversation. It was one question. It took 30 seconds. And she was like, Oh, I think I’m gaining safety. And then she’s like, But I don’t need safety. And then she chose to just on a dime, to move forward and start comparing her experience totally differently. And she was starting to think about what she was going to gain by doing the new actions. And the clarity came and all that stuff. So she tells me at the end of the year that one question about how I was comparing changed everything for me, and it turned me from being stuck into giant momentum.

Brian
I love this example, and this is just so on point. Because what you’re pointing out in your example here is that if a person has a subconscious program of needing to be safe, let’s say, which is actually most of conscious programs, or to keep things the same. But let’s say any subconscious program you have. Let’s say you have a subconscious program of I’m not worthy. Let’s just say it’s a pretty common one. I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. I’m not deserving. Let’s just say that’s a subconscious program. Now, when an opportunity comes along to make a choice, to take the opportunity to actually improve your self-esteem or your worthiness or your self-worth, we think that, logically, we’re making a decision about that new opportunity. I have met so many people, and I’ve done this myself, too, with a certain level of self-worth, want to grow self-worth. Opportunity comes along to actually grow self-worth, and then they say no to the opportunity. Why did they say no to the… And then they have all kinds of reasons why. Oh, yeah.

Ani
It’s rationalized.

Brian
It’s all rationalized. Well, I can’t do it because I’ve got this other thing going on. It’s too much money, it’s too much time, it’s too much effort, it’s too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, it’s not the right time, whatever it is. It’s an obvious opportunity for them to step into exactly what they wanted, and they’re rationalizing. Then We ask them, Well, how are you coming to this decision? Well, it’s because I can do more of this than that. There’s always being informed by the law of relativity. However, the thing that’s controlling the way that they are Comparing is the old subconscious programming of I’m not worthy. Bingo. Because that subconscious programming, it’s there, and it’s going to resist changing that. It’s going to keep you there. And so some people really think they are making rational, conscious decisions in the way they’re comparing. But all of that is being informed by the subconscious programming. And so now they’re just rationalizing and confirming the subconscious programming to not get what they want to not change.

Ani
And to stay the same.

Brian
And to stay the same. And they think it’s perfectly rational.

Ani
Yeah. And once we rationalize it, it’s like, Well, that makes sense. Our society confirms with us that that’s the right way we should do it. You look at somebody who is irrational, and they’re crazy, or they’re hysterical, – stay away from them thing. So our society confirms that that’s a way to be, that you’re not going to get rejected.

Brian
Yeah, exactly. Another example that I love to use is we do a lot of work in group programs. So we have a lot of people in group programs. Small group from our cohort size groups of 12 to 18, all the way up to big group sizes and big year long mastermind programs where there’s 50, 60, 70 people in those programs. And And inevitably, throughout the course of the program, there’s a little saying that I have, everyone in the program is on the same journey, but not everyone’s journey is going to look the same through the course of that. And so sometimes at certain parts of the program, certain people in the program are making more, quote, unquote, progress than other people are. And all the time, there will be people in those programs who then negatively compare themselves to the other people in the program. And then we start to talk about that and say, well, why do you think that you’re doing that? And we talk about that a little bit. And as we dig in more with our somatic coaching methodology, it’s always rooted in a program that’s existing of, listen, one of the limiting beliefs that we work with a lot with people in this regard are, I’m not doing it right.

Brian
So that’s like a constant thing. I’m not doing it right. And so that’s like a drum beat that’s locked in the subconscious, I’m not doing it right. I’m not doing it right. So the negative comparison confirms for them that they’re not doing it right. And when we point out to them that, wow, so you’re comparing yourself specifically to put yourself in a pit, that’s a choice that you’re making. That’s a choice because you could choose any way you want to use a law of comparison. And that’s a really big wake-up call for people. That’s actually, they’re choosing to use the natural laws in a way that hurts them rather than help them.

Ani
Yeah. If you had this happen, what will happen next for me with a lot of clients is they’ll have these moments that they remember like, Oh, my God, my mom used to say that, or my dad used to do that, or that’s what people told me, and that’s what my grandma said, or, oh, my gosh, she used to feel like that as a child when this or that caregiver, they have these moments of epiphany about being younger. And sometimes it’s very cathartic for folks. And by the way, I didn’t ask for it, and that’s not therapeutic. And I’m not going into the story. They just have a light bulb moment. It’s like a release, like a bubble of release of like, oh, my God. Yeah, that’s when that happened. And for some people moving forward from that awareness is relatively easy because the awareness helped them to let go of something. And then for a lot of people also, there needs to be some nervous system rewiring around not the memory, but how they feel in their body now, because the subconscious mind doesn’t know how old we are. And so even though we were two or six or five or whatever, when that memory happened, we still have sensations in our body now that are present now as a part of that programming.

Ani
And we can work with that. It’s fun, too, Brian, to recognize when people have better, more helpful ways of comparing automatically once they do the sensory work because they’re coming from a whole different come from.

Brian
Absolutely. So the one place that I really love to use the law of relativity is in decision making, like we just have been talking about. And if you haven’t caught it, we have actually a four-part series on making pivotal decisions in our past podcast that we talk about the law of relativity that you can apply for making decisions. Now, the other part of it is still a decision-making matrix, if you want to think about it that way, but it’s in terms of validating our emotional experience, like what we’re feeling in our bodies. We might be saying, I’m feeling I’m feeling depressed or I’m feeling anxious. We might be having an experience in our bodies that we don’t like. With that said, you know what? Any emotion that you want to experience is valid. Go for it. No judgment here around any emotion. But sometimes people experience emotions that they say they don’t want to experience, and they say that they want to change. So consciously, they’re saying that they want to change. So in that way, it’s like, Okay, so let’s help you change that if that’s what you want to change. If you don’t, then that’s fine, too.

Brian
No judgment. Act out the laws here. No judgment around it. And it’s interesting that when people are experiencing, let’s say, depression, so they’re sad, they’re saying, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to change something. But at the same time, they’re making comparisons to keep themselves in that depressed state. They’re actively comparing themselves to other people. They’re who are, Oh, look how happy they are. I wish I could be like that. I’m just not like that. I used to be so happy. Now, I’m not going to happen anymore. I can’t be like that. It’s okay to vocalize those things. But when it becomes a regular thing that we’re talking about again and again, then it becomes a pattern of the emotional state, which is sensations plus thoughts, the emotional state, which is a pattern using your conscious mind to compare negatively to stay in the emotional place. So one of the best ways to change our emotional states is to just start using the law of relativity differently. Just start comparing ourselves in different ways in order to elevate our energy and elevate our state if that’s what we want, if that’s what we want to do.

Brian
So oftentimes, again, that’s just another example of our subconscious mind using our conscious mind’s capacity for the law of relativity to keep that pattern going.

Ani
I think that’s one of the reasons why I like cross mapping so much. I don’t think I recognize that until I heard you I’m talking about it, actually, because when I do cross mapping, I’m getting more contrast.

Brian
Yes. Yeah.

Ani
Right? True. Just having that embodied or in the moment experience with different options, I’m like, Oh, I have more contrast here. I can choose a different comparison, because otherwise, I’m just stuck on the one way of doing things. So I recently actually had an experience with this. I’ve been off a wheat for a number of months, and at first I was like, Oh, it’s not a big deal. And then it was like, I really would like a piece of bread. And then it was like, I really want bread, like drooling over the bread. And the kids are still eating bread. And my son had a sub from the deli down the road. And it was like, that was the moment I I was like, I just cannot tolerate this anymore. I have to have some bread. And I actually had some of his sub in my belly. It didn’t feel good. And yet the next time there was bread, that sub roll, can we just acknowledge the fact that there’s such a good sensation of sinking your teeth in a sub-roll? So the next time there was a sub-roll around me, I was really craving so much.

Ani
But I had just had that recent experience of not feeling good in my belly. So I was comparing my experience with seeing the sub-roll to the last time, or it didn’t feel good. And I used some cross mapping, Brian, to help me to eliminate the craving. And I felt very, very stuck in that one moment. And what I was comparing myself to a bunch of different things. The kids get to eat whatever they want. I can’t. And I used to be able to eat whatever I want, but now I’m middle-aged and I can’t. Then I’m comparing myself to future self. Future self hasn’t had a subroll in 50 years. All of this stuff is going through my head. But as soon as I started the cross mapping and I recognized I had different options, I was like, Oh, I’m making a big deal. I’m making a big deal out of this. Actually, I’m okay. I’m good with not having a subroll. Actually, I’m really good with it because my belly feels better and that makes me really happy. And it started to just really shift all of those wild comparisons that I was I was going down rabbit holes.

Brian
And your cravings went away, too, I think you said, right?

Ani
Yeah, it was fine. Actually, that experience was three weeks ago, and there’s been sub rolls and pizza and stuff, but it’s actually been really wonderful.

Brian
Yeah, so exciting. And that’s an example of embodying the natural law of relativity. So when we use cross mapping, we’re embodying the laws. And then once you’ve got that in your body, just like you said at the start of our episode here today, Ani, is when you embody these things, It just liberates something. And then you’re not really struggling through it anymore. It just becomes a part of your experience.

Ani
Yeah. Using the natural laws when you embody the natural laws isn’t like, hang on, let me get my little notebook here and map out how I’m thinking about this. At first, you might need to… We do some pattern deconstruction. We do some cross mapping. But then when you really embody the natural laws, you just have new thoughts, you just do new things, you just say different things because you’re coming from a whole different place.

Brian
Yes, exactly. So if I were to give someone just a takeaway as we’re wrapping up our podcast- Hot tip? Hot tip. Here’s the hot tip. The next time that you are consciously using that law of relativity, let’s say there’s something that you want and that you know is good for you and that you know is in your way of growth. Because I’m assuming if you’re listening to this podcast, you are into growth, that you are into change, that you’re into becoming more and experiencing more than you have right now. So the next time you have an opportunity to be, do, have something more than you do right now, ask yourself, are you using the law of relativity to talk yourself into that or out of that?

Ani
Oh, I like that tip. That’s so good. Am I comparing as a way to talk myself out of it?

Brian
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I’m using the law of relativity to talk myself out of the change. Because if that’s happening, that’s your subconscious. I’m going to say it again. That’s your subconscious doing that.

Ani
Because the only reason we don’t change really is because we give up in some capacity. Exactly. And the subconscious’s job is to keep us safe and to stop us from that change. Exactly. So we need to give up in order to get the change. So use that comparison to help you keep going.

Brian
Right. Because our subconscious Our subconscious alone cannot stop us from doing something. Our subconscious has to talk our conscious mind into stopping. And the way it does that, because our conscious mind loves intellectualization, it loves rationalization, it loves thinking about it accurately, it loves all that stuff. Your subconscious knows exactly how to get you to stop by using the things that you trust so much and love. And it’s actually like the dark Lord is controlling the shining knight in armor on the top thing. I don’t know where that came from.

Ani
I don’t know either. Not really the dark Lord person.

Brian
The dark Lord is like for- What’s going on in your subconscious? Subconscious is not the dark Lord.

Ani
The dark My lord stole my sausage this morning.

Brian
So think about that. Are you using law of relativity to talk you into the change and the opportunity, or are you using it to talk yourself out of the change and the opportunity? That’s your choice.

Ani
We’d love to hear what happens next. But for us, we will see you on the next episode of the Somatic Coaching Academy podcast. See you later.

Brian
Have a great day.

Get started today!

Start your Somatic Coach Training Journey by Unlocking Human Potential… Our students always say, “I wish I had started sooner!”

Click to Unlock Human Potential