Ep #27 How to Make Pivotal Life Decisions Part 4: The Difference One Yes Can Make

by | May 2, 2024 | Manifestation, Motivation, Purpose, SCA Podcast

The Somatic Coaching Academy Podcast | Making pivotal decisions

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Transcript

Ani
Hi, and welcome to the Somatic Coaching Academy podcast. We’re really excited that you’re joining us for episode 27, The Difference That One Yes Can Make. Hey there, Brian.

Brian
Hi. This is, of course, episode number 4 in a four-part series, or part 4 of our four-part series of How to make Pivotal Life Decisions.

Ani
Yeah, it’s such a fantastic topic. It’s one that people ask us about all the time. It’s one that our potential students grapple with making decisions. It’s one that our current students, that our students on program grapple with. And it’s one that our graduates, especially of the SBMC program, really know how to navigate. Yeah. So I love talking about this. So the difference one YES can make. I love this title because it’s really true, Brian. Everything can change from a powerful and pivotal decision.

Brian
And it’s up to this point, if this is the first part of this series that you’re catching, make sure you go all the way back to part one and follow it all the way through, because everything that we’ve talked up to this point in time has gotten us here. We’ve talked about when we make decisions that keep us small or we don’t change at all. We’ve talked about how the universe always says yes. We’ve talked about clues to when to say yes. How do we know that this is the universe is opening the shortest path to me becoming who I’ve always wanted to be and who I’ve meant to be in this world rather than who I’m supposed to be in this world?

Ani
We’ve talked about the natural laws and how the natural laws interweave with this topic. We’ve done some really cool natural law stuff.

Brian
When you understand the natural laws and you understand how to make choices and decisions in accordance with the natural laws, you experience really more peace in your life. More peace, not only while you’re making the decision, but peace on the other end of the decision, even if things on the other end of the decision get hard. You’re still at peace with it. When you were lacking, letting go of regrets. We’re letting go of those, I guess, regrets is the best way to think about it.

Ani
It allows you to live in peace. It’s not a peace that you are in a room that the door is closed and locked and you’re sitting on a cushion and meditating peace, because that’s not a peace that lives. That’s not a peace that is alive in the world. It’s a peace where you can walk throughout the world and have peace and still live life because life comes with challenge and opportunity and external things and internal things and all the things.

Brian
Yeah. So today, we are going to talk about another natural law called the law of receiving, the law of receiving. The Law of Receiving. Now, we want to read a little paragraph out of one of my favorite books, Working with the Law by Raymond Hollywell.

Ani
I can tell it’s one of your favorites. It’s all banged up. All tattered, yeah.

Brian
All tattered, banged up, and highlighted and underlined and all that stuff. All right, so just settle in for a moment and open up your ears and open up your mind and just let this few sentences settle in for you. True desire represents the urge of life seeking fuller expression, and it’s kept alive by continuous expectation of its fulfillment. Let’s just break that down for a moment. What’s true desire? True desire is, we talked about this a couple of episodes ago, I was just thinking about you. I was praying and meditating for a solution, and you called me.

Ani
So synchronicity. Synchronicity, right? They’re followed with that desire is followed. It feels like something. It’s not a meh. There’s a longing. There’s a feeling. There’s a charge.

Brian
There’s a charge associated with it. Or for me, that true desire of, God, I really want to be trained in this thing. I really want to have a training in QiGong and Tai Qi. It just would wake me up at night. It would come back to me every single day. I couldn’t shake it off. It was stuck.

Ani
Yeah, it can show up in other people, too. It’s like those people who are like, I just wish I was doing that. I wish I was doing what you’ve been doing.

Brian
I’ve always wanted to do that. I can’t stop thinking about it. And so that’s true. That’s where we’re talking about true desire. So now true desire represents the urge of life, law of more life. We talked about the law of more life, that the universe is expanding. The universe always says yes. So something we have true desire for is the universe working through us to expand. That’s what’s happening. And that’s the urge of life seeking fuller expression in the world. That’s what the sentence says. The true desire represents the urge of life seeking fuller expression. That’s life wanting to express itself through us, through our desires. And this is kept alive by the continuous expectation of its fulfillment. I know it’s going to happen someday. I know it’s going to happen someday. I know it’s going to happen someday. We keep that urge alive by expecting, by knowing, by knowing it’s going to happen.

Ani
Yeah, a positive expectation.

Brian
A positive expectation. Okay, that’s the first sentence. It’s coming.

Ani
It is coming. It’s coming. Yeah.

Brian
Now, we’ve talked about an episode or two ago how we can get stuck in that place, though, too. We get stuck in that place. It’s going to happen. I know it’s going to happen someday, but we’re still making decisions to play small.

Ani
Especially when we don’t recognize the opportunity because it doesn’t show up like we think it does, it looks a little bit different, or there’s some perceived loss associated with it. Yeah.

Brian
For more on that, visit the most previous episode. We’ve got to talk about that a whole bunch. Okay, now, this is key, critical. It brings to us ways and means for its manifestations. The principle explains no desire is felt Until the supply is ready to appear. No mind can be conscious of a need or of a desire unless the possibility of its fulfillment already exists.

Ani
So within that desire has the ways and means of its fulfillment. That’s not separate.

Brian
It’s included in it. It is included. Just how the acorn knows how to become the whole oak tree. It’s included It’s already in the acorn. The blueprint, everything the acorn needs is already in. Everything the oak tree needs is already inside of the acorn. It’s already in there. But here’s an interesting thing, Honey. You can take an acorn, and if you leave it on your desk, it’ll never turn in to an oak tree, ever.

Ani
All of that potential.

Brian
All that potential is just wasting it. It’s wasting sitting on your desk. Yeah, it’s wasted potential. Now, what What does the acorn need? It needs to… Well, somebody needs to make a decision to plant itself in rich and fertile environments. The more rich and fertile the environments are, the more it’s going to grow to fulfill its destiny.

Ani
Yeah, because the desk is not the right environment for an acorn to grow.

Brian
Yeah. All it takes is the right environment to activate the acorn. That’s it. It’s just the right environment. Just It’s the right environment.

Ani
Yeah, it’s pretty magical, isn’t it?

Brian
It really is. I was just thinking about our poor goldfish.

Ani
Lordy. Bucket. Bucket, our goldfish. Our goldfish bucket. About three years old, and it didn’t look so good the other day. We were wondering if Bucket was sun tanning or practicing to become an astronaut, what was going on. But Bucket was spending some of their time upside down.

Brian
On the top of the tank, not looking so good. We’re like, boy, Bucket doesn’t look so good.

Ani
What’s going on with Bucket?

Brian
We decided to just- Made a powerful decision, didn’t we, Brian? Yeah, powerful decision. Pivotal decision. It saved a life.

Ani
That’s what we’re doing, Brian.

Brian
We changed his water. It just changed his water. Now he’s back to his old self again, swimming all over the place. He’d been in that environment a little too long.

Ani
Yeah, I hadn’t changed the water in a little bit. It’s a perfect example, though. I mean, literally, all it required was a water change. We changed the environment. The fish was fine. The environment wasn’t okay. It wasn’t flourishing. Really think for yourself, are you in environments where you are flourishing? It doesn’t mean that you don’t have an acorn because everybody has an acorn. Your environment might not be the right place for your acorn to take root and grow. That’s the thing.

Brian
And here, also, if you have a desire, true desire, for your purpose to grow, for your acorn to grow, what that also means is that the opportunity for that environment must be there. It must be there. That’s what the law is saying. It’s not separate.

Ani
It is with the desire. It’s just like, it reminds me of the law of polarity, Brian, like the quarter, the heads and the tail of the quarter. You can’t separate the tail of the quarter. It’s not like if you’re looking at the heads, you’re going, Where’s the tail? It’s there. You just have to flip it over. It’s the same thing with the ways and the means and the resources for us to fulfill our desire. They are there. We might not be able to see them at the moment, just like the tails of the quarter.

Brian
I think about this passage, and two primary things pop out for me. One thing is the ways and the means show up after we make the decision, not before. That’s how the law works. And a lot of times when people are agonizing over a decision, they’re like, Listen, I don’t have the money. I don’t have the time. I don’t have the resources. Well, here’s the thing. If that decision is in alignment with your purpose, your true desire, the time and the money and the resources show up after you make the decision, not before.

Ani
They show up after, not before. Brian, it reminds me of when we bought the New Health Wellness Center. Oh, yeah. I remember.

Brian
We bought a building.

Ani
Yeah. We were collaborating, co-owning a wellness center with another individual, and we had to move out of that center. It was a rental, by the way.

Brian
Yeah, we were leasing that space.

Ani
Yeah, we were leasing the space. It was just a monthly rental situation, and we had to leave, and Brian and I needed to leave and recreate our wellness center. Can I just say in an environment that looked like it couldn’t possibly support another wellness center? Yes. Because we live in a place where there’s just very few amount of people. What is the year-round- 1,200 people. Year-round residents. Year-round residents, You got to be kidding me. Two wellness centers in a place that small? And so it seemed crazy, but we, especially you, had a deep desire. you had a deep desire to have a wellness center. I remember your goal at the time was to make our county the healthiest county in New York State, which was silly because at the time- We were also one of the poorest counties in New York State.

Brian
Yeah.

Ani
And it was not the healthiest by any means. And so you just have this deep desire for that. And so we need to leave the wellness center, and we needed to find another rental. Did we look for a rental?

Brian
We looked all over for a rental. There were no rentals, no buildings.

Ani
Nothing. But what we did end up finding was a building to buy, and it was actually perfect.

Brian
I actually asked the previous owner that was a local hospital, if we could rent it, and they said, no. It went against their bylaws. They actually couldn’t do it legally. It further pushed us into a pivotal decision. Were we going to make a decision to stay in business or not?

Ani
It really was that big of a deal. It was that big of a deal. Were we going to stay in business or not? Because we were seeing people in person at the time, and we needed to have rooms to be able to see our local clients. It was literally like for you and I, gotta figure this out or go back to work at the hospital, which neither one of us was wanting to do.

Brian
From the place we were leaving, we had spent a lot of money in there building a gym. We had equipment. We had thousands of thousands of dollars of equipment. We had a classroom. We were teaching classes. We had all these things lined up to deliver. We needed a space where we could do all those things. I guess we could have tried to patch it together and went to see some people in their homes and then hold the equipment. But again, I had this deep desire to this had to happen. It was destiny.

Ani
It felt like destiny. We’re going to create a wellness center. We do not have a space. The only thing that looked like it was available was a building to buy. We did not have money to buy a building. No, thank you. And by the way, we didn’t have anybody else to work there at the time either, Brian. It was you and me in a building. It seemed crazy. The desire was there, and we knew that the ways and the means to fulfill that desire must be there.

Brian
Must be there. We knew that they must be there. And we also knew that they wouldn’t show up until after we made the decision. We made the decision to scrape together some funding, get some loans and borrow money from friends and family and all this thing to be able to have enough of a down payment, to be able to go to the bank, to negotiate with the… And by the way, I didn’t know how to do any of this. I wasn’t a business owner. I was a physical therapist. I didn’t know how to run a business and negotiate land deals and work with the local agencies for zoning and all that stuff.

Ani
We were fresh new business partners, too, by the way. All of a sudden, there was all of this potential responsibility on each other’s shoulders and trust and coordination. We didn’t know how to work together, really. I remember you couldn’t even show up to the signing, but it was in your name because it had to be in your name. But I needed to sign for it because you were traveling for a training. The whole thing was crazy. Do you remember that we got toward the end of the deal where we were moving? We would already sign the papers. We’re moving toward the end of the deal, and we find out what was it then.

Brian
There was a lien. There was a hospital that owned it, and there was an undisclosed lien on the hospital. The lien was by, I don’t know, it was like a federal agency, the Department of Health or something like that?

Ani
Yeah, it wasn’t even a person.

Brian
Yeah, it was like a federal agency owned a portion of the lean on the building. We’re getting close to the closing. By the way, we’re getting kicked out of our current space. We’re leaving. We’re leaving. We have to. We literally have people scheduled to come back in. We had people schedule. It was like, what are we going to do? And it looked like all of a sudden we weren’t able to close on the building. I was traveling for a consulting job that I was doing.

Ani
And the people who were helping us said, it’s going to take months to get this. It was like, I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to happen. And I don’t remember why we started asking some people if they could help us. I don’t actually remember what that was. Maybe you do. But somehow we were talking to a friend about this problem, and they go, Oh, I know so and so, the guy who holds the lien or is working for the government agency or whatever. Remember that? They happen to be personal friends with this person, like golf buddies or something. And they said, Let me make a phone call for you. And it gets better from here because they made a phone call, and the one person who has to sign this thing is going on vacation for two or three weeks.

Brian
The next day or something.

Ani
In six hours. I remember where I was standing on Church Street in Burlington because my kids are getting their cellos tuned or something. And I remember exactly where I was. And she’s like, In six hours, he’s going on vacation.

Brian
Signed it off. We get the clearance, we close on time, we open on time. Ways and means. This is really one of those, what a difference a yes can make. One yes. One yes of saying, yes, we are committing to this vision. We are committing to the desire that we have to have the healthiest county in New York State and bring this wellness center to this community because this community needs it and deserves it. And that was the one yes. And then everything started to… We had to keep showing up. Let’s be honest. We had to keep showing up and changing and moving with it. But that yes led to more yeses, led to more openings, led to more doorways. It’s like the universe kept opening up doorways. And what a beautiful… I totally forgot about that example that we almost didn’t close because this one person hadn’t signed off in the lien and it was supposed to take months. It was like, it just fell in place right at the end. Then we do the closing. Then as we are doing the closing, actually people start calling us to ask if they can work with us at the wellness center.

Ani
We had the coolest team.

Brian
Within a couple of weeks, we had a psychotherapist that was working with us, a massage therapist, acupuncturist, yoga teachers. I mean, all the… We had an amazing group of people that helped us to create New Health. The wellness center in the town that we lived in, what an amazing, amazing experience that was.

Ani
And you might be listening to this story and thinking, Yeah, sure. The difference that that YES made helped you to have a wellness center. That’s awesome. What a cool story. Way beyond that, this one YES changed. What a difference it made in all aspects of our lives. It changed everything for us. The Somatic Coaching Academy would not be here without that one yes, because we learned so much about how to be business owners, how to run a team. I mean, we had a team at the Wellness Center for a few years, and then we actually… The Wellness Center changed forms, and then Somatic Coaching Academy came about, and we actually didn’t have a team for a little while. And then we started growing a team, but we knew what to do because we had a team. We had that experience. It changed the relationships that we had as a family, you and I, as parents for our kids who had solid employment in the community. It changed the way people perceived us in the community. actually, we started our first training institute right after we bought that building, too. It changed everything. And when we don’t always perceive, because remember, human perception can perceive in parts.

Ani
We don’t always perceive the whole. But when you take a hot minute and you have people who can help you to see a wider perspective, you’ll be able to see for yourself, too, the trajectory of what a difference a pivotal decision can make.

Brian
Absolutely, Ani. Remember a couple of episodes ago, we talked about what you’re really letting go of, what you’re really losing when you make a powerful, pivotal decision is a limiting belief about yourself. And what I’m hearing Ani talk about and bring back up for me is that really all of those changes that we had in our life then and we’ve had in our life since was a letting go of a number of limiting beliefs for myself at that time with that decision. That we actually, we were playing so much smaller than we are capable of. And we had capacity to meet the universe and to be in flow with the universe and to give more to our community and to give more to other people that we hadn’t realized if we didn’t say yes, that the ways and the means show up after the decision, not before the decision. That’s such a critical… That alone is a life-changing, not idea, but practice. It’s a life-changing practice. Practice.

Ani
I think for me, it’s true freedom. I really do. I think for me, that’s freedom, is knowing that the ways and the means for the desire is baked in because it feels so trapped, confined, stuck when a person doesn’t understand that they are not free, truly. This knowledge that we’re talking about and how to make powerful decisions, I think it’s maybe even the most powerful skill I think I’ve developed, because I really do feel like I can do anything and express myself in any way and be truly free.

Brian
When we make a really pivotal life decision that’s in alignment… I’ve said this how many dozens of times in these four episodes that we’ve done. When we make a pivotal life decision that’s truly in alignment with our true desires and what our true purpose is, that is not a decision that we’re only making for ourselves as individuals. That’s a decision we’re making on part of the universe. For the collective. The universe is actually asking us, begging us to make that decision because the universe is seeking expression and creation through us as people. That’s how things are created in the human world are through humans. Humans do that creation. And how do we create this? The universe creating it, but it needs human hands in order to make those creations. And because we are the universe. And so when we make a pivotal decision, it’s not just about us as individuals. The universe is begging us to do it. And how many times have someone had an idea to do something and they don’t do it? And then later on, they read someone else did it, and they’re like, They stole my idea. That was not their idea.

Brian
That was the universe begging you. You said no, so it went to somebody else. And somebody else said, yes, that’s the difference. So the universe is begging you to make this choice. It’s giving you all the signs. It’s giving you all the energy. It’s giving you all the charge to become who you’re meant to be in this world. Yeah.

Ani
And we don’t always get to see the ripples and ripples and ripples of impact that we make. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t. In our case, a few years after we made this powerful decision, I checked the mail one day and I got the paper. Front page of the paper is a cute little girl with a bunch of vegetables on a table going, Yay. And the headline reads, Essex County, Healthiest County in New York. No joke.

Brian
True story. True story.

Ani
No joke. Yeah.

Brian
Wow. What a powerful four episodes we’ve done together, Ani. I have really appreciated having this much time to sit down with you because this is the most amount of time I get to sit still with you is actually when we do these podcast together. So I really, really appreciate it being here with you and having this conversation and talking about the powerful and pivotal decisions that we’ve made in our lives and the experiences that the people around us, our students and our clients, have made pivotal decisions. It’s one of the most amazing and thrilling and exciting things for me to be a part of. And I want to just thank you for sitting down with me to do this.

Ani
Yeah, you’re not lying that this really is the most we have a young family, right? And busy young adults, I should say. And boy, we have a busy life. So it has been really great. And Brian, I’m so glad that you made the decision to do this series because it’s really important information, isn’t it, folks? So, hey, if you’re listening to this and you appreciated the series, you’ve learned something, please share your insights with us. We want to hear your voice. We want to hear what insights you’ve had, what powerful decisions you’re making. Share this with other people in your life who you love. Hey, you might even say to yourself, I wonder who could use this today. And just see what pops up. Go ahead and share it with them, even if you get a pucker moment. We talked about that last time. And share the love, because we are all in co-collaboration here, and we all need each other’s support and wisdom and guidance. So, yeah. It’s been really fun. Yeah. We will see you next time. Hope you loved this series. Bye, everyone.

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