Ep #26 How to Make Pivotal Life Decisions Part 3: Clues for When to Say Yes

by | Apr 25, 2024 | Manifestation, Motivation, Purpose, SCA Podcast

The Somatic Coaching Academy Podcast | Making pivotal decisions

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Transcript

Brian
Hi, and welcome to the Somatic Coaching Academy podcast. This is episode 26 in our four-part series of How to Make Pivotal Life Decisions. Hey, Ani.

Ani
Hi, Brian. I’ve been waiting for a whole week because you left us on a cliffhanger last time that the universe always says yes, but not to everything. And then you left us, which I know you really loved, by the way. You were like, yes. So I’m really excited to continue this conversation. But before we do that, why don’t we back up the train and talk about some of the things that we’ve been talking about in this series? Hey, if you are just catching this episode, go back one, two, so that you can listen to the whole thing. Yeah.

Brian
Just really quick recap. Very first episode, we talked about why people play small or not at all. What stops us from making the pivotal decisions in our life that bring us to where we want to be in life and what we want to create in life? What stops us from doing that? The last episode we talked about the universe always says yes, that when we make decisions in alignment with natural laws, which we’re going to talk more about today, exactly how to do that, that we experience, I loved your framing up of more peace. It’s true.

Ani
I think what we’re really ultimately looking for is more peace in our lives.

Brian
Imagine that if every decision we made was accompanied by peace.

Ani
Eventually. Well, it’s eventually because it takes getting through some of the vibrational frequency stuff. It’s what the sensation-based tools are just awesome at. We had the graduation from our sensation-based motivation coaching program just a few weeks ago. Our students surprised us, actually. We got on the call on Zoom, and usually everybody has their cameras on, and we click into Zoom, and they come on in, and we open up class a few minutes early, and we chit chat a few minutes before we start class. And we opened up the room, and we let everybody in, and everybody was coming in, but they didn’t have their cameras on. And at first, one person, two person, three people. And then eventually we’re like, this is fishy. What’s going on? And they had so sweetly all crafted these signs for thanks and gratitude, specifically for us as the teaching team on that course. And they all opened up their cameras, and they had their handcrafted signs held up on their screens. It was so wonderful to see and so heartwarming. And one of the students, as they were sharing their gratitude and what they were so proud of themselves for doing over the course of the six months in the program, they said, I’ve learned how to choose.

Ani
And I don’t know about for you, Brian, but for me, that’s part of what I’ve also learned with the sensation-based tools is how to choose. We’re not just a somatic coaching academy here where you come and you learn body tools and you learn how to calm down. You learn how to change your life. You learn how to make powerful decisions. And that right there was just so… It was just such a great share. I think it summed up so much of what we do here is learning how to choose. And it takes time to learn because it’s a skill, just like anything else. Learning how to think differently and learning how to make powerful decisions is a skill. We don’t think of it often like that, but it is. And it takes some time to be able to reprogram ourselves to become a person who can think for ourselves rather than think what we’ve been taught to think and how we can feel for ourselves rather than what we’ve been taught to feel and take actions for ourselves rather than what we’ve been taught to do. It takes a little bit of time to build those muscles and develop those skills.

Ani
And then when we can do that, not only do we get to have a more wonderful life, we get to impact everyone around us, even if we never do the tools with them. And when we do the tools with them, we get to teach them how to do it, too.

Brian
Yes. To be able to be a person who not only can create your own life on purpose, consciously, but to be a person who helps other people do that, that is the most rewarding thing on the planet for me. that encapsulates my purpose for being here – is to help teach people, to help other people create their lives on purpose, consciously in ways that expand and grow their lives on levels that they never never would have imagined until they took those steps.

Ani
And you can’t imagine it because it’s on a different vibrational frequency. And oftentimes, you talk about how vibrational frequency is like the radio station we’re listening to. And if we’re listening to country music, but we wish we were listening to rock, we can’t because it’s on a different vibrational frequency. We actually have to turn the channel, which is making the decision. I’m actually turning the channel. And so oftentimes, we’re listening country music, wishing we were listening to rock and wishing we were listening to rock. But you got to turn the channel. And so that’s a great example of changing vibrational frequency is like changing the radio station.

Brian
And the decision is changing the radio station. We don’t get the new frequency until we’ve made the decision. To your point, right? Because you’re listening to country and you’re like, I’m wishing I was listening to rock, until you make the decision to put your hand on the dial and turn the station, then you get the new frequency.

Ani
And it seems like a silly example, but it’s literally what’s happening in people’s lives when they’re not making decisions, powerful, purpose-filled, pivotal decisions. It’s literally what’s happening is that you’re listening to country and saying, God, dang it, why am I not getting rock music?

Brian
Why isn’t… I’m thinking about it. I’m wishing it. I’m praying for it.

Ani
I’m deciding.

Brian
Why isn’t the radio station changing itself? I’ve talked about how I did that for… We’ll talk about that. I waited five years to make a decision on the training. We talked about that.

Ani
Can I tell you a story? This is actually two different people coming to mind. I was having conversations. This was a number of years ago with students who were talking about coming and studying with us at Smatic Coaching Academy, Brian. We talked to lots of potential students, our team does, and we have these conversations with people. This was actually interesting because I talked to two people in the same week And I think in my head, they’re paired up a little bit because they were very similar people, actually. They had very similar backgrounds. They had very similar desires. I talked to them both, and one of them decided to study with us, and one of them didn’t. But I got to talk to the person who didn’t study with us the following year because she was considering studying with us again. And it was why… I’m saying it’s wild, but it actually wasn’t. It was totally predictable with what we were talking about because she was literally on the same vibrational frequency as when I had talked to her the year before. Okay. Whereas The other person who decided to study with us was not because she was changing frequencies and changing frequencies and changing frequencies.

Ani
So both of these people wanted to actually become somatic coaches, specifically. That’s not what everybody who talks to us is like their goal, end goal. But both of these people had backgrounds in somatics. One was a fitness instructor, one was a dance instructor. Both wanted to become somatic coaches so they could grow their business, specifically so they could grow their income, specifically so they could charge more doing these different kinds of services with folks and expand the impact that they were making with their work. They loved what they were doing. They wanted to make a bigger impact. The person who I was talking to then the year later was still in a job she didn’t like. She was still having health challenges. So was her partner. But at that point, they had been compounded because of the time spent, because a year had passed. They were still having the same financial issues. And that’s what I mean about vibrational frequency, because what she was looking for was a change, but she actually had to change her vibrational frequency to get a new result. But she wasn’t able to do that on her own. And it was interesting, too.

Ani
And then we’ll get to the punchline here because I’m dying to know. It’s interesting that what she said to me was, I really want to do this. I really have a desire, really have a long longing to do it, but we don’t really have the funds right now, and I need to manifest the money. And so what she thought that meant was that she was going to sit and wait for an answer, but the answer was on the different vibrational frequency, and it never arrived.

Brian
Never arrived. We’re actually going to talk about that in an upcoming episode on how things don’t change until you make a decision.

Ani
Is that the next one? Yeah.

Brian
But this episode, we’re talking about clues to when to say yes.

Ani
The last episode, we talked about how the universe always says yes. Then he waited until the very last minute to tell us, and not everything.

Brian
It doesn’t say yes to everything. We actually have given a talk, this talk a couple of times at conferences, Ani, about the universe always says yes, and then we’re going to talk about the clues to saying yes. We get feedback after the talk often that people say, Well, you didn’t leave any room for no. I say, Is it that funny? Because the point is that the universe doesn’t say no. The universe only says yes.

Ani
But not to everything.

Brian
But not to everything. If you think about it, when you say yes to one thing, you’re actually saying no to other things. Just by default. But if you focus on the no, then you’re actually saying no to a lot of other things, and you don’t get a yes. Just the mindset of being attached to focusing on a no decision. There’s a lot of ways to have an empowered no and those types of things. That’s important to consider.

Ani
Yeah, it’s a big part of our program, actually.

Brian
But what we’re talking right now with decision making, if we’re focusing on the no and we’re We’re pushing back a little bit on, it’s not an always a yes. Does that mean saying I say yes to everything? Does that mean I say yes when my partner wants to go out on a date but I have a headache? Does it mean I say yes to my kids when they’re at an ice cream before dinner? No, we’re not saying that. We’re saying when you’re making a decision, the universe is always going to make a decision associated with more growth for you to become the person you are meant to be. That’s what it’s about.

Ani
It actually does feel like increased resistance or power behind life force energy, I guess, when you know very well that you want to be elevated and expanding yourself in some way, and you’re not. You know very well, and it just gets more… It’s like more life force energy behind. And the resistance Can it be like, gah. Remembering a client years ago who was really wanting to change how they were parenting, and it was a couple, mom and dad. And there’s all this life force energy behind consequences. It built over the course of three weeks. It was like, we really need to talk about the consequences and what consequences. And the next week, I talked to them. They’re like, listen, the kids are pushing it on the consequences. And the next week, I talked to them. They’re like, we got to talk about the consequences. The kids are bringing the consequences. It was like, oh, because they knew very well there was some yes and expansion stuff that they wanted to be more peaceful, mutual, respectful, co-collaborative parents, but they couldn’t figure it out, and they were on that. They were on that vibrational frequency. It was almost like listening to the radio station.

Ani
They didn’t want louder and louder and louder.

Brian
Yeah. I love what you’re bringing up here, Ani. It’s going to actually lead to our punchline for today’s episode.

Ani
There’s a punchline today, too?

Brian
There’s a punchline today’s episode also. Let’s start moving in the direction of the clues when to say yes, because the way we think about it is actually a little counterintuitive. We’re going to I’m going to read some of these to you, and you might be thinking, Wait, that’s when I would say no, not yes. Let’s move here. The first law we want to talk about is the law of cause and effect. The law of cause and effect is a natural law. What that means is that Every effect that you see had a cause. Everything that has been created, everything that shows up in front of you, everything that occurs in your behavior, all of your results, circumstances, the environments, they all had a cause somewhere. So that’s an immutable law of cause and effect.

Ani
I wonder who the cause was. Who the cause was? I wonder who the cause was. So oftentimes we think the cause lies outside of ourselves or whatever. You’re the cause. The cause is the subconscious mind, really. Our own.

Brian
Our own subconscious mind and collective subconscious is creating reality. Absolutely.

Ani
Yeah. Thanks for bringing that up because that’s so true. The collective subconscious is creating our collective reality.

Brian
So the law of cause. So how would the law of cause and effect show up with making a pivotal decision? Well, here’s the way it shows up. Have you ever had it happen where you have literally just thought about something or had a desire for something, and then the answer or the opportunity for that desire shows up immediately.

Ani
I have so had that happen. A lot of times, I’m trying to think of one recently because it’s actually a sign you’re in the flow. That synchronicity is a sign that you’re on track, you’re on purpose, you’re in alignment. Yeah.

Brian
Yeah. One of my favorite stories about this, Ani, was a conversation you had with one of our past graduates who actually now is a trainer for us. Who had a dream about you. She literally had a dream about you. Yeah, that’s true. This is what we’re talking about.

Ani
It was before she was a student, and she did. She didn’t tell me about it at first, which was hilarious. We had our first conversation, which tracks, very respectful, polite person. And so we have our whole first conversation. And she said “tell me about the programs, and I’m very interested in the whole thing”. We talk the next time, and she reveals, “I didn’t dream about you. You are my dream. So I’m already going to say, yes, I mean, I know that I am because you’re in my dream.” You’ve got to be kidding. Can I tell you, that’s happened twice since. That was three or four years ago. That’s actually happened twice that people have told me. Watch out, folks, because I might show you.

Brian
Well, so let’s compare and contrast this, Ani. So this person had a dream, and She said, Well, this is obviously a yes for me. Exactly. So she’s following the law of cause and effect. But have you ever talked to anybody who said, You popped up in my feed or you did this, but it’s a no. Listen to this one.

Ani
Listen to this one. Yeah, somebody, I called them, actually. I just thought about them and was like, I wonder how they’re doing. And maybe we have a program coming up, maybe they would be interested. Just popped into my head. I called them and they said to me, “I was literally just meditating, praying for an answer to problems that I’ve been having, and you just called.” I mean, she was in tears. That’s happened a number of times, too. But that person then got off the phone with me and that was it. They didn’t follow the thread.

Brian
They didn’t follow the thread. Again, so the universe is giving you the doorway. So you have a prayer, you’re meditating, you want an answer, you need a solution, and then it shows up for you. That’s a clue to say yes. That’s the universe saying, Hey, here you go. It’s right here. Here’s the fastest path to going what you’re praying for. It’s right there. But it’s amazing how many people, when they get to that pivotal decision, say no, they follow their programming rather than the universe.

Ani
I got a funny story for you. I haven’t told you this. And We don’t necessarily subscribe to following your angels and guides, although there are plenty of people in our community that totally love to follow the guidance of their angels and guides. Brian, a student told me this the other day. I thought it was really funny. One of our students was working with a client, and the client’s goal for the session was ‘I would like to connect with my universal support via my spirits and guides’. And so at the end of the session, they decided that the client was going to ask and wait for a sign. Okay, this is the session. It was in person. So she leaves the session, she goes into her car, she turns on the radio, and it’s Adele singing ‘Hello from the other side’. Hilarious. The universe has a sense of humor.

Brian
It does have a sense of humor. Our first cause and effect related natural law is if you’re praying for something, if you’re meditating on something, for me, I waited five years. I knew I wanted to do a QiGong Tai chi Training. It shows up literally within a day in my inbox, and then I waited five years on that, and I wasted five years. Just to be perfectly, I wasted five years. You could be doing that for five years. You could already be doing it. I could have been doing it already, and I wasted time.

Ani
People sometimes it’s really obvious, the synchronicities that land, Brian, but sometimes the opportunities show up disguised and people can’t recognize them.

Brian
Yeah, well, let’s talk about that. Okay. That’s the next clue when to say yes. See? The next clue when to say yes is, have you had an opportunity presented to you, and then you do the flip flop thing? It’s like, Oh, I’m going to do it. I’m not going to do it. I’m going to do it. I’m not going to do it, thing. Well, now we want to resource and bring in the law of polarity, which is another natural law. The natural law of polarity says that everything in the universe is created as a whole. If you look outside and you look outside, you’ll see whole trees growing, you’ll see whole squirrels running around, you’ll see whole birds flying. We don’t see half birds flying, half squirrels, half trees growing. It’s all whole. Everything in the universe is created as a whole. And that’s not just the things we can see or I guess think we can see, based on Ani’s telling us a couple of episodes ago that only 4% of what we image in our brains is actually we’re picking up through our eyes. Go back and listen to that quote if you haven’t heard it.

Brian
Everything in the universe is created a whole. Everything means everything, not just the things that are tangible, but our thoughts, our emotions, our perceptions. Everything is created as a whole. Created as a whole doesn’t necessarily mean we are perceiving it as a whole. And so when we are flip flopping over decisions, especially if the decision has been presented to us in such a way that we’ve been praying for it, we’ve been looking for it, we want this, I want to learn about somatics, I want to learn about this, and then the answer pops up, and then we’re like, I don’t know.

Ani
I’ve had some conversations with people that have freaked them out because what they’re looking for is exactly what we offer, but it showed up so quickly for them that they freak out. And with the law of polarity, what they do is they end up saying, for some reason, that isn’t the right decision. Because just how vividly and quickly it was right there. I had somebody come do one of our info sessions just this past week, and they’re like, I just heard you on a podcast. I went to your website. I saw you had an event today, so I’m just here. I was like, What do you want to know? And they’re like, I don’t even know. But the matchup was so good in terms of what they were looking for. I was thinking to myself, this could actually freak them out a little bit because it’s so crystal clear. A lot of what people do when that happens is they end up going into the opposite. The law of polarity is everything is created as a whole and that there’s equal and opposite of each.

Brian
Everything has two sides.

Ani
Everything has two sides.

Brian
Everything is created as a whole, but it has-

Ani
So when the synchronicity shows up so clearly, sometimes what happens for people is they just pop over into that other side.

Ani
But what can also happen is that the opportunity shows up, and it shows up as something we don’t expect, but it’s actually a part of that law of polarity. We just don’t recognize it as being a piece. Right.

Brian
One of the aspects of the law of polarity in that everything is created as a whole is there is always a conservation of loss and gain. Gain and loss are two opposite sides. If you understand that everything is created as a whole, then you never really gain anything more than you lose. You never really lose anything more than you gain. If you’re focusing on the losses, you’re not seeing the gains, which is most of the problem that people have. They’re focusing on what they’re going to lose. 100%. When we get to this point of this person showing up and saying, Oh, my God, this is a perfect synchronicity. It’s exactly what I asked for. Then we don’t make the decision because we’re focused on what we’re going to lose. I’m going to lose time. I’m going to lose money. I’m going to lose a person in my life. We focus on what we’re going to lose. But here’s the trick. Our subconscious programming is having us focus so much on the thing we think we’re going to lose.

Brian
Because your subconscious, remember, is going to resist a choice that requires spending more energy because of what we talked about in episode one. So your subconscious takes control of how we think so that we focus so much on what we’re going to lose that we are now polarized. Our perception is polarized, law of polarity, to the loss side of the equation, and we don’t see what we’re going to gain. And the truth is, we will lose something when we make the choice to expand ourselves. But you know what the thing is we’re really losing? A limiting belief. That’s what we’re really letting go of.

Ani
That’s interesting you say that, because what I’m over here smirking about is that when the person, they think it’s a perceived loss, and then when they get to the different vibrational frequency, they see that the loss was a gain.

Brian
Yes, exactly. And that’s because when you let go of the limiting belief for the limiting program and you move to a different frequency, now you can see with a different perspective about your past life, if you will, the frequency difference that you move to. But while you’re enthralled with the limiting program, you can’t see that. All you can see is what you are perceiving you’re going to lose. But that’s a subconscious mind is focusing our attention on that.

Ani
It’s a perception of loss or a perception of gain, which is not inherent loss or inherent gain. It’s just a perception that then changes when we change. Exactly.

Brian
I will tell you, I can give you 100% of the time data on this.

Ani
Really? 100%?

Brian
100% of the time for myself, for watching you with all the people that we worked with over the last decades, 100% of the time, when people make a pivotal decision to move in the direction of what they were meant to do in this world, and it lights them up, they’re expansive, they want it, it shows up with synchronicity, all that stuff. When they make that decision, they always transcend a limiting belief about themselves. It happens every single time. That’s really what’s happening is you’re transcending a limiting belief about yourself.

Ani
Yeah, it’s true, Brian. It’s so true.

Brian
If we just reverse engineer this for a second, we’re in the business of helping people transcend limiting beliefs about themselves. That’s what we do. That’s what we teach people to do. That’s what we train other people to do is to help other people transcend limiting beliefs about themselves. And inherent in that is making pivotal decisions that are in alignment with their core essence, with who they’re meant to be in the world.

Ani
Yeah. And I think that’s really what the… I know you have a punchline for us today in a cliffhanger, but I think that really is the summation of what we’re talking about is the universe always says yes, but it doesn’t say yes to everything. It is always going to say yes to your quickest, easiest path to success, your blueprint for success, and the easiest and quickest path to get you there.

Brian
Exactly. 100 %. Let’s just put that in a neon sign right there. That’s exactly right. Can you say that again? I want to bold this.

Ani
The universe is always going to say yes to the quickest, easiest path to your success?

Brian
Yes. So in just a little bit, we’re going to talk about how to discern that. So how do I know that that’s the quickest and easiest path to my success? The universe is saying yes to it. So how do I know that that’s actually the decision I’m making is moving me in that direction? And so part of what we’re answering right now for you is actually the clues to saying yes is – These are the clues to you making that choice also. So the first one we talked about is if it shows up right away, that’s a clue. That’s the universe saying, this is the fastest path to your growth in particular. Now, the other one is if it comes with two sides. If it feels like I’m going to lose something big, then that’s actually a sign that the universe is saying, if you make this pivotal choice, that’s the fastest path to your creation blueprint.

Ani
Can we talk about the pucker moment?

Brian
Yeah, please. Go ahead.

Ani
Okay.

Brian
You want to talk about it?

Ani
I love the pucker moment. That’s another sign that the universe is helping you to say yes. And it’s that moment when you have a desire and something shows up and you’re like, yes. And then either totally immediately, right away or within a few moments, you start to pucker up. It’s like the contraction starts to happen. It’s like, yes. Oh, God.

Brian
Because as Ani was saying, that really the only thing in the universe is expansion. The universe is expanding faster than it’s contracting, right?

Ani
Yeah, it just expands.

Brian
It just expands.

Ani
But we don’t.

Brian
But there is actually a force of… There is some force of contraction in the universe. Otherwise, the universe expands so quickly, it would just tear itself apart, right? Right. So there is a contraction force, but there’s always more expansion than contraction, right? So that it keeps expanding and growing. When we talk about macrocosm and microcosm. Our bodies are a microcosm of the macrocosm of how the universe operates. We have both idea of expansion and contraction. We were born to expand. We were born to expand. We talked a little bit about this last episode, how we were born to say yes, but we were taught to say no. We were born to say yes, but we were taught to say no. Think about when you were young, what did your parents do all the time? No, don’t do Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. We find ourselves as parents going, Oh, kids, don’t do that. Don’t do that. No, no, no, no, no. The joke is the best way to get a kid to do something is tell them not to do it. They’ll do it. And that’s because the subconscious mind does not register the negative. They’re just hearing the thing. They’re just hearing the thing.

Brian
Yeah.

Ani
We have a little niece. Is she three now? And we live on the lake. And when she starts to run to the dock, right? It’s so tempting. It’s so hard to say something like walk because the tendency is to go, don’t run. But all they hear is run. Yeah, exactly. They don’t. They just hear, run.

Brian
Where you’d be better off saying, slow down or something like that. Or walk. Or walk or something like that, wherever it meets with kids. But the universe doesn’t say no. The universe is working on this level of collective deep consciousness that’s a part of everything. But we were taught. We were born to expand or taught to contract.

Ani
When we have a desire for something and an opportunity shows up and we feel that immediate expansion, or we feel the expansion while we’re talking about the opportunity, but then a decision point starts to come near, then we can feel that what we call the pucker moment, which is this contraction that happens and all the shoulds or whatever start to come into our system. The vibrational frequency of the should starts to come into our system, and it feels like a contraction. Yeah.

Brian
So when we’re growing up, when we are taught to… When we’re taught something is wrong, we’re taught something is wrong, it gets combined with a feeling of contraction in the body. So punishment, when we’re growing up and we’re punished, that feels like contraction in the body. If you think about any time where you punished as a child, it’s going to feel contracting in the body. That contraction now is associated with the thing that you’re being punished for, laughing at the dinner table or something like that. You’re laughing at the dinner table. Don’t do that. Go to your room without dinner. Now I have contraction, and I’ve associated that with laughing at the dinner table. Laughter in general. The laughter in general, whatever it happens to be. In our somatic world, in our cells, what has been paired as contraction means when I feel contracted, it means I’m doing something wrong. When I’m contracting, it means I’m doing something wrong.

Ani
Yeah, whereas what we think as adults, when we feel that contraction, we think it means that that decision is wrong.

Brian
Exactly. So this goes back to that pucker moment. So I want something, I see something, I’m like, oh, my God, that’s it. It feels really expansive. This is the answer to what I’ve been asking for. This is the answer to my prayers. I was just thinking about you. You just showed up. Oh, my God, that’s amazing. Let’s have a conversation about it. Okay, let’s have this conversation. So this is how it works. Then you’re about to make the decision and the contraction comes in because, what we talked about, when you make the decision, the pivotal decision to grow yourself, you’re going to let lose a limiting belief. Now, the limiting belief is a part of your subconscious construct. Your subconscious does not want to let go of that limiting belief because it’s wired to stay the same because that saves energy. I’m just backtracking everything we’ve been talking about to this point. The way your subconscious conveys to your conscious mind not to make the decision is to create contraction in your body because we’ve been trained that contraction equals I’m making the wrong choice. I’m going to do something wrong. We’re making the decision subconsciously, not consciously, we’re making it subconsciously.

Brian
We talked about that in the first episode in this series. Now we’re using our conscious mind to rationalize why we made the decision. But we’re rationalizing to stay small. We’re rationalizing with ourselves to stay small and not to change because it feels wrong, because that’s what our subconscious is using in our body to contract our body, to convey that information based on old programming.

Ani
That was brilliantly summarized, remembering that it’s so prevalent for out there in the world for us to hear to follow our bodies and to follow our yes, and follow what feels good and everything. And that’s not true. And it’s also confusing because of what you’re just talking about in the contraction. So the full body yes, that we hear all the time we should be following, happens on the front end. But if we wait, it’s not a continued thing. We don’t just walk around feeling the full body yes, every moment. Because you feel that initially, but then it’s followed by a contraction. And so if we then wait on the decision and feel that contraction and go, Oh, it’s a no, because it feels like a contraction. It doesn’t feel like yes. It felt like a yes, three minutes ago. What changed?

Brian
Exactly. While we did a podcast, one of our very first podcasts we did, Ani, was we talked about spending $25,000 on a four-hour meeting with a person we were working with at the time. This happened for us and for me. I’ll speak for myself. When I first got the thing, I was like, yes, this is what we need. Sign on the dotted line, committed $25,000, and then contraction in the body like, what did we just do? Oh, my God. I’m doing something wrong. This is so irresponsible, all those things. On the other end of that experience, I let go of a massive limiting belief about myself and about the world and about how the universe works and all these things. I’ve never gone back. I’ve never gone back. Absolutely.

Ani
I’m contrasting that with a decision I had to make last month where I felt a yes, and then I felt a no. And because I knew what was happening, but I’d already let some time pass because I’m busy, right? Like the hell yes came, then the emails came, and the appointments that I had to get to came or whatever. But because I know what’s going on here, I still followed through on it, even though I had gone through the expansion and the contraction. Whereas in the example that you just mentioned, we didn’t have time to really experience the contraction so much because we had made the decision so quickly. So in this thing that happened with me last week, it was actually a very similar investment level And I know how this goes, and there was some time put in place there, but I still was able to make that pivotal decision for us because I know how this works. It can really hoodwink us. Remember, our subconscious mind is telling us how to think, and it’s telling us how to feel. so we have these feelings come up, and all the thoughts agree.

Ani
That’s a bad idea. When 30 seconds ago, three minutes ago, a week ago, whatever, it was really an alignment. Yeah.

Brian
So just to simplify this clue to say yes. So with all that information, this clue to say yes is when you have a big somatic charge around it. Either it feels like a hell yes or it feels like a hell no, believe it or not, those are both clues that that pivotal decision is the fastest path to your growth, to where you want to be in your life. This is the one that’s really counterintuitive. Most people are like, It feels really contracted. Oh, that’s definitely a no. Actually, that’s your subconscious response to knowing that the yes to that decision will eradicate a limiting belief that exists in your subconscious mind.

Ani
I’ve heard people then argue with examples about why what Brian’s saying doesn’t work. So I also want to say this. It’s the exact same thing. I’m going to say it in a different way. When you feel the expansion, and then you feel the contraction, which is exactly what he’s saying with the charge, when you feel charge around it, when you feel the expansion and then you feel the contraction, that is- The intensity, I guess, is what we’re on a point.

Brian
When I say a charge, it’s the intensity.

Ani
Yeah, somatically.

Brian
Exactly. If the universe is saying, This is not the fastest path to your growth, it feels like it’s neutral.

Ani
It feels like meh.

Brian
Yeah. You’re like, I’m not really interested in that. I don’t know. That’s why I said the charge, either it feels like a positive charge or it feels like an intense negative charge. Either way, strongly investigate that pivotal choice because that choice can change your life, especially with the thing that you’ve been praying for to change in your life.

Ani
Absolutely.

Brian
All right. So we have talked about on a clues to say yes. We talked about when it shows up right away, that’s a clue to say yes. We’ve talked about when it shows up and it looks like you’ve got to lose something, that’s actually a clue to say yes. We’ve talked about when it comes with a big charge around it. That’s something to say yes. We’ve also talked a little bit about you don’t recognize it because it comes in at a different frequency. Because making the decision is going to elevate you to a different frequency. So all of a sudden, the opportunity doesn’t look like what you thought it was going to look like.

Ani
It often looks like a loss.

Brian
Or it looks like a mess. Or here’s the other one. It looks like too much work.

Ani
Yeah. Too much money, too much time, expenditure.

Brian
Yeah. Again, if you just go back, of course, it would look like too much energy because your subconscious is like, Wait, I’m programmed to preserve energy, so let’s hold back on that. It’s not the right time to do it. We’ll do it when we have more time or more energy. Problem is, you may not ever have more time or more energy.

Ani
Unless you change the patterns, and you’re just going to be confirming whatever patterns are at play when you wait, like we talked about, I think it was last episode. Yeah, because you’re still going to be doing the same patterns. The same patterns are going to be doing you. Until you transcend them.

Brian
Can we talk just about healthy waiting and unhealthy waiting? So what’s an example if someone’s going to make a choice? They have a prayer, they want something, the answer shows up, and they’re like, My God, that is the answer. That’s definitely the answer. Now, how can you tell the difference between when you’re procrastinating or falling prey to your subconscious as compared to saying yes as the universe would say yes?

Ani
Well, I think for me, the thing is making a decision. You might actually wait on the fulfillment of that decision, but you make a decision. So one of the things we say about making the decision is it’s like signing on the dotted line is making a decision. Putting a deposit down is making a decision. But I loved how you were talking about it in terms of choosing to wear a shirt in the morning, and you don’t actually make the decision until you put it on because there’s some skin in the game. There’s some skin in the game, and then a decision is actually made. So there might be some waiting in terms of the fulfillment of the progression of, but a decision is being made. So that’s the thing of the waiting. Yeah.

Brian
So it’s like buying a house. When you buy a house, you put a deposit down in the house. And then there’s often time between when you put the deposit on and the closing on the house. And there’s certainly then 30 years maybe between you actually paying the whole house off. Sure.

Ani
And even moving in or.

Brian
But signing on the dotted line is actually putting in your deposit. That’s how you hold the space energetically for your change. Even though you’re not fulfilling on it right away, you’re still holding the space for your change. Instead of just saying, Oh, you know what? Yeah, this is the perfect house. It has everything that I want, all those things. But because I don’t have that amount of money in the bank right now, and I don’t have the time to do it right now, or somebody doesn’t want me to do it right now, even though it’s really what I want and it’s really this perfect thing for me, I’m just going to pass. I’m going to pass and I’ll look at the house next year.

Ani
I think another thing that’s coming to me as I’m listening to you talk about it is rationalization, Brian, because there’s a rationalization that happens in the waiting that is really about the subconscious mind working to convince us to reject an idea. And I’m just thinking about a thing I heard recently about how valuable procrastination can be, because they were saying that procrastination can give you an idea about what is and isn’t in alignment with your values. It’s been my experience that it’s that somatic charge that we’re talking about that actually really helps you to make that decision, because I’ve seen people have a somatic charge and not decide right away, but then go back to understanding they had a somatic charge, and then moving forward from there. But I’ve also seen people have a somatic charge, and then they go into procrastination and they rationalize. And the rationalization is unhealthy waiting. Yeah.

Brian
Like I did for five years, waiting to take that training that could have changed my life way earlier.

Ani
Yeah. Way earlier. Yeah. Because the thing is, we don’t want to feel that charge, and so we start making rationalization so we don’t have to feel that charge. But the thing that we want to feel is actually going to help us to increase our capacity. And that charge is like a sign and a symptom that my capacity is expanding. So many of us want more joy and more love more laughter and more goodness in our lives. And it’s those wonderful emotions that also have a charge that our bodies aren’t used to containing yet.

Brian
Yeah.

Ani
Did you have another one about unhealthy waiting?

Brian
No, I think you did great with that.

Ani
Those are the ones that come to mind with some recent stuff for me. Good.

Brian
Yeah. Those are all great.

Ani
This is a topic I’m so glad that we’re talking about on the podcast, and people ask us about it quite frequently. And it’s the reason why we do it at conferences is because people ask us all the time, how do I make a better decision? How do I know? How do I know I’m aligning with the universe? How do I know I’m aligning with my purpose? And as you’re listening, remember, your subconscious mind is telling you how to think about what you’re listening to us say. So as you go about your day, you’re driving in your car, listening to the podcast, and you leave, and you start thinking, Oh, they’re full of crap. Hey, maybe just come back and listen to it again in a week or in a few days or whatever, and listen to it again. Because there’s wisdom everywhere. And when our minds are telling us that… When our minds are trying to close us off, I wonder what there is there. And that’s really putting us in the way of the yes. So, Brian, I know you have a cliffhanger for us about something we’re going to talk about next time?

Brian
Yes. So as we start to wrap up our episode today about the clues to say yes, which we talked about today, next time, we’re going to unwrap just a little bit more a natural law to help us exponentially jump to the next level of having the resources available to change or to show up after we make that decision. Because like we said before, nothing changes until you make a decision.

Ani
Well, what natural law is it, Brian?

Brian
We’re going to talk about that next time on podcast number 4, on this series, rather, on this series, number 4 series, when we talk about the difference that one YES can make.

Ani
Okay, well, we’ll see you there. Bye-bye for now.

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